I Ava Daly, am one of few psychopaths that actually enjoys dating.
Sue me, but I like the ritual! Flirting, choosing outfits that accentuate a reasonable amount of cleavage, chatting with your friends about whether this guy will end up being the love of your life or a disaster of a footnote, and revealing only the most charming details about yourself to someone who is essentially a complete stranger.
However, I've found that for most people the daunting part of dating is that initial hurdle: the first date.
Now I've been on quite a few of them, and after doing copious amounts of experimenting, trial and error, and falling and getting back up again, I fancy myself a bit of a first date expert.
In all honesty (which is what The Pink Diaries is all about) way back in January I got my heart miserably broken. This sparked a 6-month period where I for lack of a better term tore sh*t up. I dated a new dude for a little (he's actually a great guy so shoutout to ****), kissed some frogs, and added some new notches on my bedpost if you know what I'm sayin'...
It's because of this that I'm on a bit of a decentering men journey so rather than take my own first date advice, I'm bestowing it upon you! After all, coaches don't play.
(It's at this moment that my friends who are reading this are probably rolling their eyes and calling my bluff on the whole me decentering men thing LOL)
But I digress...
Here are my tips, tricks, and guidelines to surviving the first date! And hell, if you're lucky, maybe even enjoying yourself?
-The first thing you need to remember, is that everybody has a past. Dating becomes TEN TIMES EASIER when you admit this to yourself!!! He has a past, she has a past, and so do you. People have been burned, heartbroken, married, divorced, ghosted, and everything under the romantic umbrella. This doesn't matter. What matters, is that they're open, honest, and not shady AF about it.
-A first date is just as much about the person liking you as it is about you liking them. It's a chronic thing we do as women to operate in this mindset of "I hope he likes me!", when you need to be figuring out whether you like him! That's what the date is all about, so reframe that mindset.
-Personally, dinner dates are my worst nightmare BUT they're for some reason all men want to do ever all the time. Just make sure that wherever the date is being held is in a public, busy, and well-lit location. It's not dramatic to be safe!
-SHARE.YOUR.LOCATION.WITH.YOUR.FRIENDS.
-Pick an outfit that makes you feel amazeballs!!! Look good, feel good is a very real thing and a first date is a lot more fun when you feel confident. By knowing your worth, you'll be able to identify whether this guy is a total casanova or a complete jacka**.
Now these next couple of points are a personal preference and can of course be tailored to whatever makes you feel comfortable...
-The following ladies are rapping in my ear as I get ready:
- Cardi B
- Nicki Minaj
- SZA
- Megan Thee Stallion
- Doja Cat
- Glorilla
I truthfully cannot name a more talented group of women when it comes to reminding me who TF I am!
-Before you head out, go ahead and have what I like to call a shot for confidence! This can come in the form of a glass of wine while you do your makeup, a beer while you wait on the Uber, or using that shot glass you bought from the airport to throw back a little liquid courage before he picks you up.
-Now this one might be a slightly salacious... Buuuttttt I historically like a little kiss at the end of the date (on the assurance that it went well and he isn't a horrible creep of course). It doesn't make you slutty, it doesn't make you easy, and it doesn't take away from the connection that you felt over the last 2-hours. If anything, it strengthens it! You've gotta test the waters and see if you have chemistry with someone. In my opinion, it's better to test that theory sooner rather than later.
Now, I know that this coach has thrown a lot of information at you! However, the important thing to remember is just to have fun with it. You're young, you're gorgeous, and you're in your prime so enjoy it! If the date sucks? Guess what, there's just about a billion more men to choose from. And if it's great? Well, that's the whole ball game.
As always ladies, let the words You Are Enough echo through your head as you sit across from Maybe Mr. Right.
OH AND HE HAS TO PAY!!!!
Happy dating!
XO,
Ava
The Author : Ava Daly
Ava Daly is a 21-year old creative writing student at Florida State University. Her most important virtues as a writer and more importantly as a woman are honesty & authenticity. She carries both of those traits with her throughout all stages and aspects of life. When not hunched over her computer writing, she can be found behind the counter of The Pink Closet Company serving up smiles and witty one-liners to all of our shoppers.